Take A Bow

I do keep a brief track of what happens around the world, so I was not too keenly following Obama's visit to the far east. In China he spoke about being "partners and not rivals" and what not. I sometimes wonder if these so called diplomatic trips do more harm than good. Ok, so does this mean USA and China are now best of pals? Probably not and I am sure that they disagree on a million things. Our PM or anyone else can visit China, but does that resolve any of the border dispute that has been ongoing?

Anyways, what amused me the most about the trip was the big hue and cry that started in USA when Obama bowed down to the Japanese emperor. Some said that he was stooping low. Others shouted that USA should stand tall and firm and never bow down. Few even viewed it as a sign of weakness or humble surrender. Then of course, another group who said that he has disgraced his country. Now isn't that stupid or what. If I'm not wrong, don't the Japanese kind of bow down when they greet? It's not like Obama was on his knees, with his forehead touching the floor. It was a gentle bow, out of respect and nothing more. More so traditional I would say. But who there would understand that.

In the middle of all this, there was another "bow" that happened. In fact, this was more of a stoop down than a bow. While meeting Hu, Obama made a statement that he and his whole country recognizes Tibet as a part of China. He also said he favors the resumption of talks with the Dalai Lama. What for? Was that last sentence a bid to cover up a nasty statement he should not have made? In my opinion, this was the ultimate in stooping low for the Obama administration. We sometimes say that India is spineless in dealing with China, but now, so is USA. Maybe people should comment on this particular act of bowing down and maybe they should make it clear how low their country has stooped down. Some bowing indeed.

Most Memorable Meals

Saw this post on Chandu's blog where someone tagged her to list out the top five memorable meals ever had. At the end of it there was an open tag, and of course, being about food, I had to take this tag up. So here are my most memorable meals ever had, in no particular order.

# I was introduced to momos only when I came to Madras. Prior to that I had no clue of Tibetan cuisine and I had not even tried dumplings before. I had my first taste of momos at one of our college fests, from a Tibetan stall. I was hooked and there was no going back. In my final year, the lead singer of my band was Tibetan and once he invited the whole band over to his place for lunch and the only thing on the menu were momos, on request. Out came this huge tub, like the one that carries fresh fish and ice in those fish markets. On opening the tub, I could swear I counted a million and one momos. We shamelessly dug in and went on and on. So, how much did I eat? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Oh well, I remember counting till forty, then I just did not have the energy to count further.

# While growing up, when ever I visited my grandparent's place, I was always fascinated by the few farm animals they had. I took particular interest in the turkeys, mainly because of the way they looked and the sound the made. On one such trip, my grandmother announced that to welcome us home, she was going to cook up one of those lovely turkeys. I remember watching them the previous day and imagining what they would look like in my plate. The next day, I made sure I never missed any of the action. Right from the time the right turkey was chosen, slaughtered, skinned, cut, cooked and served. Somehow, that taste still lingers and it was the best turkey roast ever, along with the best gravy.

# Does food taste better when you are high? It probably does.How else can I explain that one night in USA where a friend and I developed this craving for something Chinese and something sweet. So we ring up this Chinese take away place and order pork friend rice, chicken noodles, pork roast and one box of sweet donut buns, which were soft, fluffy and sprinkled with powdered sugar. We cleaned it all up no sooner than it arrived. This was the best Chinese meal I had eaten in ages, from what would otherwise be just another take away restaurant. Oh, and did I mention that this carnal onslaught was just after we had finished dinner where we had downed a large Philly cheese steak, with hand cut fries and Pepsi, from Penn Station?

# Staying away from your country can make you crave a lot for the local food. While in USA, I really missed the regular Dosa, Vada and sambar types. Believe it or not, there was an Udupi right next to where I lived. There were other places too, but no matter how many times I went there, it never gave me the satisfaction I was looking for. On my first vacation trip to India, I had nothing but Saravana Bhavan on my mind. I reached late at night, and the very next day I headed out to Saravana Bhavan for breakfast with my close buddies, Paunch and Babu. Idly, vada, dosa, poori. I tried it all. I burped, and tried some more. Considering that I am not much of a VEG fan, I did eat a lot, and was more than satisfied. I could swear a tear rolled down my eye.

# I take great pride in the fact that I can cook. Now I am not the best by any standards, but with some level of arrogance I can confidently say that I can cook better than most people, both men and women. Keeping aside the daily common lunch/dinner, I take great care when I try something out of the way, like maybe a biryani, or pork ribs or a pizza and so on. With all the care that goes into making it and when the outcome is much better than what I expect, it gives me great pleasure. I think my all time favorite would be my biryani. For me, cooking is a personal experience and hence every meal I cook is a memorable one, so that surely finds a place in my top five.

Goa to Darjeeling

For quite some time, I have always been bothered by the fact that I have not been to Goa. When I say this, most of my friends say, "WHAT?" Ok, so here I am, all set to go, on my first trip to Goa. I leave on the 16th and am back on the 19th.

This trip is special in so many different ways. One, like I said, it is my first venture into Goa. Secondly, a couple of us have been planning this trip for close to two years, but we never got a chance to make it happen. Someone always had some unavoidable reason and so we kept putting it off. So this coming weekend worked out fine for most of us. The third reason is, this is a BOYS ONLY trip. It took some convincing for the men to ask their wives to NOT come, but I guess the wives are quite understanding/accommodating and hardly created a fuss. At least, that's what I believe. Now, I really have no problems with the women coming along. It's always fun, but when it's just guys, it's something else. I guess you need to be a guy to understand that. I guess I also kind of consider this my bachelors party. Anyone seen the movie "The Hangover"? Well, this seems to be similar to that in many ways. We just hope all of us come back in one piece with all our teeth intact.

The day after I get back from Goa, I am off to Darjeeling for a three day trip. This is an official trip for some work, but I do have a lot of time off and I hope to roam around a bit and try my best to get a glimpse or even take a ride on the world heritage DHR, which has always been one of my dreams. Apart from that, I have no clue of Darjeeling or any place close by. Hopefully can post some pics if I am not too lazy to carry my cam along.

Alrighty then, see you all after the trip. Be good, you all.

END-GAGED

Well, I'm actually fumbling on how to start writing. This blog has been a witness to the last few years of my life and the changes my life has gone through. The ups and downs and the smooth sailings and everything else that has happened. Now when there is a new beginning, what better place to let it out than here.

Yes, I am officially engaged now, to a wonderful person, who will now on be referred here as "RUSH" for the obvious reason that some of you already know, and some will figure out eventually. So, Rush and I got engaged last weekend, in a very peaceful and serene ceremony with close family. The setting was in Kumarakom, Kerala, facing the backwaters, with an awesome view. I could not have asked for better. The whole ceremony was quite casual with some beautiful singing by Rush's family, and also from my darling cousins. Cool breeze, good food and a houseboat ride only made the already beautiful day better.

Enough said about the event. About Rush, well, it did not take us long to figure out that we wanted to do this journey together. It was NOT love at first sight for me. Somehow that does not make sense to me, as I view love as something that constantly grows, and sometimes disappears. We were introduced to each other by a common friend, who I am sure did not think that things would come to this. For the last few months, they have been trying to fix me up with someone and I always kept saying NO, to all the names that were brought up. Rush's was the last name that came up after months, and I randomly decided that I would try to get to know her. So then, we started talking and then meeting and then it took off. Some said it was quiet fast, and honestly, at one point I felt the same way too. I felt I was rushing into it, and that i should take some more time. Then one day I asked myself, "what exactly am I waiting for? I need time for what?" I really had no answer there, and so I decided I was going to take the plunge.

Rush is a great person and yes we do get along just fine. She isn't perfect and neither am I even close to being perfect, but I have always said that, "People are imperfect and it is their imperfectness that makes them perfect for each other." So this way, I feel we are perfect. We differ on a lot of things. Our faith and belief systems are poles apart. We disagree on the food we like and what's worse, we even do not like the same kind of music. All this do not matter. I have come to understand that a good relationship or a good marriage is NOT defined by how much we share in common or how alike two people we are, but by respecting a person for their own beliefs and learning to coexist. What was most important in me making this decision was the fact that she was able to accept me as I am, in spite of my lifestyle being quite contradictory to hers. That small gesture has indeed set the tone for the rest of our lives.

To be honest, I do not know where we will be few years from now. We can only assume what the future holds. Most of the time we get it wrong. I have always taken one day at a time, and this time too I take the same approach, only this time it's not alone.

My Next 30 Years

Crossing into 30 is one big milestone as far as I am considered. Feels like I am entering into the second half of my life. I stumbled upon this song that pretty much sums up all that I feel and want to say right now. Quite apt.

My Next 30 Years - Tim McGraw

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years

In my next thirty years

In Light of the SRK Incident

Alrighty then, SRK was detained at the airport in the USA for a while. So what? Yes, that's exactly my question. So what? My apologies to any die hard SRK fans, but I never cared much for him anyway, but that's besides the point. Over the last few days, a lot has been said about this incident. I have heard reactions similar to mine, like "So what?" all the way to, "How dare they". Here's my few cents on this nonsense issue.

Whether this is a publicity stunt synchronised to perfect timing of his new release "My Name is Khan" or not, I don't know, don't care. What baffles me is how the heck do we expect an emigration officer to know who SRK is. I am pretty sure he wouldn't even be able to locate India on a map, leave alone know SRK. Well, assume that he did know him. What entitles SRK to escape any security check? Ok, so it could be his name KHAN. Again so what? The Americans have more than enough reason to be weary of Khan and Abdul and every other Mohammad. Call them paranoid or psychotic or whatever, but also remember that there has not been another attack from an outside source since 9/11. We on the other hand, keep getting pounded.

I have been detained at the airport in Indianapolis for close to two hours, for whatever reason. I was NOT offended and I let them do their job without complaining. So what makes SRK different from me? Well, yea, he is a celebrity and I am not (yet). Ok, so most people in India know him, but who the heck knows and cares, in the USA? Why should they? If a very random man lands in Mumbai and at the emigration counter says that he is a very famous Hollywood actor, would we just let him bypass the checks that the others are subject to? Oh well, coming to think of it, we just might. Our pot bellied, greedy officers might even drool after him for a photograph and an autograph. That's where we are different from them in the west. They have learnt from at least few of their mistakes. We have learnt nothing.

After 9/11, every single airport in the USA have adopted different security measures, which keeps on developing. These checks and methods are still in existence and like I said, there has not been another attack from outside. Touch wood. Here, first bombs rip through commuter trains, on the roads and everywhere else. The Taj and CST get attacked and yet, there are absolutely zero security measures in most of the railway stations I have visited. I frequent central station in Chennai. I have never been checked or frisked even once. There is one x-ray machine for the millions of people who travel, and it is not functional. Forget the station, even recently when I flew to Pune for some official work, I carried just a small carry on bag, that had a lighter, match box, razor, scissors and toothpaste. As far as I know, all these items are banned onboard a plane. So where is the security. Don't tell me that the x-ray machine at the airport could not detect my scissors? We just care less. That's it. In place of me, it could have very well been someone else, with the wrong intentions. We however don't miss a chance to raise our voice and make a big deal when someone as insignificant as SRK is put through some extra security check.

Either ways, SRK made it to American soil and even made a few million bucks, showing his hairless face and dancing and what not, on Independence day. He even managed to say, "I don't feel like stepping on American soil anymore, but it is the love and affection of my fans that will make me come back." Aaaawwww. How thoughtful of him. At the end of the day, our system still has a lot of lapses, and we largely remain unsafe. I am not saying that the USA is a much safer country, but as far as external threat goes, YES, they are safer.

Things wont change over night and there probably is no one right solution. But a change will slowly begin when we learn to treat everyone equally, and put everyone through the same procedure, irrespective of who they are in society. No extra privilege or special treatment for any celebrity or politician. If I am asked to wait in a queue, they will do the same. If I am going to be frisked, they will too. But, are these just Utopian wishes? Probably.

Over The Rainbow

So finally article 377 has been flushed down the drain and of course, has received mixed responses from people here and there. I was quite amused by some of the responses I heard from people I am close to, mostly from my friends circle.

One person said that Indian has now become the Sodom and Gomorrah of the modern world. Of course, I look around and all I see are men riding each other. I dare not look again least I turn into a pillar of salt. Another friend of mine commented that all the gays should be put in a straight line and shot through their balls. Ouch. A pretty strong statement, coming from someone who has probably never even interacted with someone with a different sexual orientation.

Then I heard someone say that they were terribly disturbed by the court ruling. Alright, here comes a few sleepless nights and days of depression. No matter what the reaction was, the fact was that the high court ruling had absolutely zero relevance to their lives. Ok, your not gay, so why does it matter to you that a gay person has the same rights as you have? Would it make your life better if you shot them through their balls, even though they have in no way troubled you or affected your lifestyle? I have usually enjoyed having a healthy debate on this topic with some close friends, but when 377 came down, no one made a comment. At least, not to me. I can barely count three or four people I know who welcomed the change.

The misconception we all carry with us is that we believe that homosexuality is something one chooses to be. Yes, there are idiots who try it out for the sake of it or to be different, but in a much general sense, you can be gay due to various factors that are beyond your control. As of today, there is no concrete proof or theory that states that these are what makes a person gay. Research is still going on and there are various reasons that are beyond ones control that can make a person gay. If only people understood this, then they might understand another persons orientation better.

Genetically a person can be gay. If one the wrong mix of hormones and genes in his body, he will have a different orientation. Now is that his fault or was that even his choice? Now even if your hormones and genes are alright, your early childhood environment and upbringing can shape your orientation. A little girl child who has a terribly abusive father will develop a distrust towards males and if she has been over protected by her mother, when she grows up she might never be able to receive love from a man. Even when she looks for a partner, she will only be able to trust and connect with a women. I don't mean to say that every abused girl turns out like this, but it is a possibility.

It can work the same way with a boy too. It is also possible that if a boy has been over protected by his mother and has an absent father, he will pick up few feminine traits from his mother. With the over protection and too much attention, he will soon begin to act and behave like the people he has interacted with, in his case, his mother. These interactions will shape his character as he grows up. Was this his fault? Was this something he chose to be?

With the amendment of 377, what we need to understand is that this is NOT about giving people the green signal to have sex with the same kind. This is hardly about sex. This is about giving them equal rights as you and me. This is about treating another human being the same way you would like to be treated. Previously if a homosexual had some disease that needed treatment, he could not approach a doctor due to the fear that his orientation would be reported and he could be arrested. His basic right to proper health was violated.

No matter what your orientation, you should have the right to proper health care and education. You cannot be denied a job or thrown out of an institute because your orientation is different. This is what 377 is all about. So for all those of you who feel disturbed and want to shoot through the balls, you should know that this in no way affects you. If you discriminate someone for their orientation, then how different are you from some racist who discriminate based on color or caste? You do not have to love a persons way of life or his orientation, but the least you can do is to respect him as a human being and not deprive him of his basic rights that you very much enjoy.